1:33 AM

screw MCT. it's retarded shit.
=/
i'm seriously sleep deprived now. haiz..
i shldn't even be blogging right now... but still.
anyway! second sissy went off to USA this morning! =)
it's really awesome how she could travel and everything.
most probably going to find her during august! WHOOOO! :D
gonna save LOTS of moneyyyy!
heeeheee!
i dun tink i'll miss her tt much though.. since i've been pretty used to her travelling so many times and 3 mnths of not seeing her is fine i guess.
looking on the bright side... at least i have TWO beds to roll about now!
hahaz! normally she would just take up HALF of my bed lorhz.. leaving me with a small space to slp.. =(
AND HER PILLOW IS MINEEEE! MUAHAHAHAHA!
not to mention the clothes i can wear without asking her... hiak hiak!
awesome. =)
3 mnths will be over soon lahz... heehee!

anyway... things have been pretty ok i guess..
think we sort of adapted to the new status... if we haven... well.. we're in the process of doing it.
=)
but it doesn't mean tt we can forget bout everything though. it's just that we're reluctantly accepting the fact. not all..but some of them anyway. we have to. whether we like it or not. =/
ouh well.
2 more weeks! =) until term tests!
hahaz! sort of looking forward to term tests for all the WRONG reasons.
LOL! actually there's only one reason.. hahaz! but it's enough.
and i guess i dun think i'll have my happy ending at all.
been thinking quite alot about it.
the possibility of it happening is just so slim. =/
but it's ok.
i'll learn to let go. sooner or later. =)
sometimes i really wish i know what's going on on the other side.
so that i will not feel that i'm hoping on something tt's of no end.
ANYWAY! bed! =)
nitez! :D

just because i didn't say anything does not mean that i don't mind at all.
i'm just merely acting like i know nothing so that you could be who you want to be.
even if it's just for awhile.
but don't ever expect me to accept that fact.
cause it will never happen.
not now. not tomorrow. not ever.

everytime i laugh, i hope he's watching. it is not because i want him to see me happy, but because maybe, just maybe, he will fall for my smile as hard as i fell for his.

1:48 AM

Its okay. Its okay to want someone you can’t have. Its okay to want something
more. Its okay to cry when you’re hurt, and its okay to stay mad at someone who
hurt you. Believe it or not, its always going to be okay. Thats just how life
works. Sometimes things don’t work out how you want them to, and most of the
time, it seems like they never will. But eventually, everything is going to iron
out in some way or another. You just have to believe, keep your faith, and learn
to move on.

=)

lots of things are not going smoothly.
no.. i'm not talking bout me.
compared to what is happenning.. mine is seriously nothing. =/
i just have too many choices..
hahaz! but funny how i just want something that's not part of the choices. =/
guess tt's life. gotta accept it and no. not gonna move on yet.
i've still have not given myself tt chance and time yet.
i shall continue to believe no matter how hard it is.
what's mine shall be mine. :D
if it's not then too bad.

i really hope everything will get better.
things and problems to solve by themselves...
it's been a pretty bad semester.
let's just hope all the bad luck will stop soon cause i'm pretty sure all this bad luck we're getting could last us for the rest of the year.
JIAYOU PPL!
we can't possibly expect sunshine everyday right?! :D
it'll be over before you know it.
:DDDDD

and i need to seriously start studying.
i'm not getting anything done. =/
feel so screwed up.
but it's ok! I SHALL CONQUER EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT!
that A shall be mineeeeeee!
heehee! :D
self motivation talk is retarded but useful... lolx!
and i realised tt i'm starting to make wishes on 11:11. =)
let's just hope it works. :D
hee!
love love!

have faith. =)
believe in love. cause it's true.

2:32 AM

Mother's Day. =/
was pretty normal i guess..
i'm gonna starve myself this following week man...
ate so much good food my freaking fats are buldging.. =(
run.. i need to run... walk fly swim wadever. anything to get those fats off me.

i'm still feeling pretty screwed up.
but was at my best on saturday when i went to met youm and yi. :D
it's been a long time i just laughed out freaking loudly in a public place just cuz we're doing stupid random things. =D! hee!

there's like a load of things i wish i could say right now.
but things tt i'm going to say is going to have consequences.
bad or good? i'm still not sure.
let's just hope it'll solve be itself.
=/
it's like going through it all over again.
just tt i'm starting frm the beginning...
unlike the previous time when i can't do anything cuz it has alr been done. =/
at least there's still time to salvage this.
or so i hope... =(
it isn't fair just cuz * happened.
and to put all we had at risk.
let's hope you come to your senses before things got worse.
cuz i sure as hell not gonna let you leave my life.
you're too important.

anyway! was looking thru tumblr the other day and OMG!
speaking of Peter Pan... YOUMINGGGG!
LOOK AT THISSSS!



his eyes.... *melts into a puddle*
omg. those eyes are freaking sexy! if only he shaves... =/
he'll be so hot my whole computer will be on fire.. :D
LOL! daymnnnn! he's AWESOME.

and and and OMG!
i WANT THESE NAILSSSSSS!



I WANT I WANT!
gonna paint my nails purple soon.. hehehe!
AHHHHHH! I WANT TT COLOURRRRR!
NAIL POLISH! WHERE ARE YOUUUU?!
I NEEEEEEED!
ouh well....
i'll be looking out for you! <3

week 4! here i come!

you have no idea how much i wan to tell you that i like you right now.
it's like this big secret just waiting to burst out.
but i know i can't.
cause i know that if i do. you'll be gone forever.
and my daily dose of happiness will never be there.
and i hate you for that.

You know what’s worst than hell? Not telling that someone you like that you like
him. Then years have passed, knowing that he liked you too. The same time you
liked him back.

— Sir Cortel

12:59 AM

school's torturous.
some stuff is starting to get weird.. =/
i'm not getting my usual dose of awesomeness.
i miss wanyi REALLY ALOT. although meeting Love yesterday was pretty awesome and made me felt like things are right again. =)

people asked me why the hell am i reading so many romance novels even though i know every single one of them will have the same climax...story line and then the same happy ending...
i guess because it's the one thing in this life of mine that is the most constant and it would never really change?
and the happy endings and sweet endings gave me that flicker of hope when i thought all was lost...
that maybe one day i'll get my sweet happy ending.

Change.
what a simple word. yet causes so much havoc in one's life.
i really hate it when things change. people, situation, feelings.. anything and everything.
maybe tt's why i wish i'm Peter Pan.
to never grow up. and to not know so much things.
if you don't know lots of thing you won't know what has changed. right?
=/

this is getting really bad.
and i shld get my much needed sleep.
bye.

don't be thinking of me, because even your fantasy of me, isn't interested in you.

1:01 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALINA! (belated though but still... =D!)
haha! thanks so much for everything you've given to me.
and thanks for making my life in poly awesome.
you're more awesome than you think you are and you stay happy always ok?
love youuuuuuu! :D

alina's birthday chalet yesterday.. =)
but sadly i was too tired to be damn high.. but it was still pretty awesome though.
hahaha! FINALLY GET TO EAT MY CHICKEN WINGS AND STINGRAY AND SATAYYYY!
hah! suck on thattttt! :D
decided not to stay and went home at 11plus cuz dad's home alone.. =/
felt bad to leave him alone at home when he just came back from cruise...

anyway..overnight mahjong on thursday night...
hahaz! played only one round of mahjong and then played poker all the way till 6+.
and i'm proud to say tt i've finally won money from Lewis!
muahahahahahaha!
Lewis! when you feel like getting ur hands tainted again then tell me!
hahaha! :D
pretty much died when i went to sch on friday..
slept the whole lesson of efund...
went home and slept for awhile more.. and went to the chalet and slept alot more.. =/

but now.. i have nth else to look forward to anymore..
no more freshie camp.. no more chalet...
just school and school and more school...=(
like no life only...
somemore i haven been seeing Pig Youm and Wy often enough.
esp Wy! felt like she disappeared from the faces of earth!
reappearing only to look for ppl to study with... =(
i miss her alot alot...
and even though i've just seen Pig and Youm on thursday it doesn't feel enough...
we din even do much anw...
just sit there and eat tt two awesome bowls of STICKY CHEWY CHOCOLATE and ROCKY ROAD.
it doesn't feel like the same... =(
we seriously need to meet up more often INCLUDING WY!

and i can't believe tt i'm saying this but i miss my mum... =/
the house feels weird without her...
and i think i'll probably regret saying this when she gets home... =/
cuz she will look at the state of the house and go on and on bout it...
dieeeeee...
ouh well...
till whenever! =)

You're only a teenager. You're not yet married, so go with the flow, laugh tons, use manners, and try something new. Will you just kiss him already? Trust your feelings, spend your cash, introduce yourself, take a chance, study hard, seek happiness, and regret nothing. Dont' laugh at people's dreams, make a wish on 11:11, challenge yourself, take pictures and appreciate the memories. You should make time to dance in your underwear, and learn from the past. Play dress up and then take all your clothes off. Have the time of your life.

-ohitstuhreesh

3:48 PM