i dunno why..but i'm actually feeling scared right now...
i still dunno why...

school has been crazy right from the first day...
i din REALLY have the time to use the comp until now...
and it's goin to 12 now...
lots of hw and stuff...mayb i feel there's lots of hw because i still have some leftover from the holidays.
GST is goin up this coming sunday..
WTH?
wanted to go eat ajisen/sakae/pizza hut with WWE but i guess it wun happen...
apparently W is saving money now and she just went to eat sakae today...(or is it yest?nvm..)
i dunno why but i kinda feel pissed...
i know that she have her frenz...but i can't help feeling that she would rather go eat with them rather than us...
and now i'm feeling guilty thinkin like that...WTH?!
so messed up.

blah..school is pretty crap..still trying to get up at 6 using alarm clock and not human alarm clock...
teachers have been getting more strict and lessons have become those No-Nonsense kind..
and they keep on sayin that we have a short semester...
WE KNOW LAHZ!
we're not stupid...there's no need to tell us so many times rite?!

and i miss swimming...
i still feel stupid quitting swimming...
and i feel even more stupid when i practically choose wushu over swimming...
but i don't like competitive swimming..and the only way to stay swimming wif auntie elsie is to join the swim team...
now i realli realli regret giving up swimming although i still hate competitive swimming..zZz..
wushu is so crap now..
i practically sit on my butt through the whole freaking trng...
i might as well not go trng..
everything seem so fucked up right now...
i want to swim damnit!

and sorry..i don't have time to change skin...so bear wif the horizontal lines aftr u read this post..
sorry!

and FOR GOD"S SAKE!
STOP TELLING ME THAT GERRARD IS MARRIED!
WTH?!
I KNOW!! STOP RUBBING IT!
F***!
how the hell am i supposed to get over it if everyone is telling me every 3 seconds?
ARSE...
blegh.....

i wanna watch Diehard 4.0! Anyone?

11:53 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARTHUR & AUNTIE LILY!! =D!

i realised a few things about myself...
and i have to admit..i'm shocked about this realisation (is tis even a word?)...
i guess it kind of explains lots of things that i feel...
except how i feel about my sister...
well...now that i know..hopefully i can get myself to change...

and i still feel sad about some things...
i know that once trust is being broken...it will need more time to build it up again...
but i still can't help feeling sad...
ouh well...one day i'll prove to you that the trust is still there...
time builds trust...and i need patience...((:

well...bout my sister..i still don't understand the reason behind the fucking attitude towards me...
and i can't help but wish i have the same courage to face this like i face the problems of my friendship...
i wish i hav enough courage to confront my sister...
to ask her what the fuck is her problem...
i wish i can smoothen things out b/w us like how it did b/w our friendship...

nowadays..i found myself stoning alot...
my mind drifting away from whatever i'm doing...
and i'll just stand/sit/lie there..just staring into space...and stone.
is tt wierd?
is tt a kind of symptom for some wierd mental illness?
nevermind.

and i tink i'm changing skin again..i like this skin..
but i realised that aftr u read my post and you look elsewhere you'll see lots of horizontal lines...
does it happen to you guys?
or does it happen to me only?
nvm...i tink i'm changing to xanga or sumthin...soon..aftr i know how the hell i use xanga or something..
since i'm such a nooooooooooob in stuff like this...
and i feel that there's more privacy and i can shut it down whenever i feel like it...
nvm...dun realli get wad i mean too...

blah....bye!

there's truth in your lies,
doubt in your faith.
what you build you lay to waste
all i've got is what you didn't take.
so i won't be the one...
be the one who leave this..in pieces...
and you will be alone...
alone with all your secrets...and regrets.
Don't Lie.

12:28 AM

you know what? No.
No...you don't know ANYTHING at all...
so don't act like you know EVERYTHING. cause you will end up being the laughing stock in the end.
No...you have absolutely NO right to vent your frustration at me.
so stop being a fucking bitch towards me.
No....i don't deserve to be treated like a shit.
so stop all the fucking insults and kindly leave your fucking opinion to youself.
No...i'm not a selfish bitch...cause if i was...i wouldn't even have msged dajie to pass you the msg...
so don't ever ever call me and say i'm a selfish bitch because i never reply you.
No...i'm NOT the one who pissed mum off.
so you can stop thinking that it's me who pissed mum off.
No...mummy has NEVER ever side me.
so stop pushing all the blame to me like i'm the one who is responsible for you being scolded by mum.
just stop treating me like a dirt!
stop flinging insults all over my face because you know NOTHING at all!!!
you have absolutely NO fucking right to treat my like shit...
none!
i'm not the one that pisses mum off...
she pisses off for no reason at all!
so stop pushing all the blame to me!
mummy have never ever side me at all!
you don't even know what she said to me...
so stop..just stop acting like you know everything when actually you don't.
don't push me to my limit...
i can do anything when i'm really angry...
you just try pissing me off again and i have no gaurantee that your stuff will be safe.
don't force me to scream at you...
and don't make me strangle you to death!
i'll make you regret! you fucking bitch!
i'll make you pay for making me cry so many times a day...
i'll make you pay for insulting me like i couldn't hear it...
don't force me and go crazy...
fucking asshole bitch!
who's the selfish one here?
FUCKER!

10:58 PM

OMG! i finished a book in less than 12 hours.




and i feel like shutting myself frm the world again...
not coming back to feel how the world is like anymore..
i just want to live in my own fantasies...
drowning out all the sorrows...
not caring about anything anymore...

2:23 PM

oh...and i'm still tryin to get over the fact tt Gerrard's getting married todae...yesterday? wadeva...sumday today and yesterday....
DAMN SHIT! =(

12:31 AM

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DADDY!! <3
I love you always! =D!

went to kota tingy yesterday to see fireflies!
they were so damn cute lahz..
and they looks like the lightings on x'mas trees...lolx..
on the way back to singapore suddenly had this strong feeling of missing HIM
it's been months since we see each other...
wonder if he still remember me...
the time we spent together is very little but it was very memorible...
i missed the time where we went to KL together..
it was fun...i'll always rmb how i get to know you..
and i'll alwaes rmb tt it was you who teach me tt lame shit... ((:
we probably wun be ablr to see each other anymore...
but i'll cling on to the tiniest hope tt we will see each other again..
and coincidentally...i almost get to see you todae...but i din...it's ok...
i know there's nxt tym...((:

i'm thinking of you...but do you even remember me?

11:40 AM

right..juz statin a fact.
i blog tis post aftr tinkin twice and aft bein reassured by sumone..so yea..here goes.

okie! had bbq todae!
was not fun..it was very very fun!
lolx...
early in the morn woke up and was almost late..
met kenneth at the bus stop then took the bus and meet cy on the way...
reached jz house and was HAVOC!!
lolx..
jz and cy gave me pooh bear for my belated b'dae pressie..
lolx...for some reason jz had linked pooh bear to me...
poh = pooh...
kinda no link..but apparently it does for her..lolx...
sherlyn and maylyn gave me stuffed toy pig..lolx..looks like me! NOT!
had wenglok to braid my hair..hahaz...
tink i irritate her by askin her to help me braid and re-braid..
lolx...and i hate to sae tis..but... I LOOK CUTE!!
lolx...oppx! ((:
hahaz...fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine...
aft tt went to ecp and play at the beach!
so fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun...
me and cy went drama mama and we ran towards each other frm one side of the beach..lolx..
we started playin sand castles and soon it became splashin water and dumpin ppl into the sea..lolx..it was damn FUN! =D!
in the end we were all wet...except for wenglok and jz..lolx...jz was a little wet lahz.. hahaz..
and SOH JIA TONG! i did not freakin strip ok?!?!?!
i juz sat in the sea and fan my shorts becuz i hav freakin sand in my butt! i'm NOT freakin strippin!!!
blegh...ok...went to mac aft tt...washed our face...feet and erm...butt..
lolx..then went to rollerblading...it was fun..except it was damn slow and din go far cuz apparently SOME PEOPLE are slow.. (:
then we started bbq-ing! at 5+..
couldn't get the fire started so kenneth came back to the pit wif a girl in red shirt...
and we started callin her red shirt..lolx...
she damn pro sia...awhile oni and she got the fire startin..lolx...
and while we were tryin to start the fire i went "drift drift drift drift"
and sumhow it became "burn burn burn burn"..lolx...
but the damn fire juz wouldn' start.. -___________-
and i kinda pissed the guys off when i keep sayin " dun fuck here.it's obscene" whenever they said fuck. lolx!!
i feel damn bad..aft the fire has started i was oni girl who sat down and ate wif the guys while the rest of the girls were bbq-ing food for us...lolx..
and aftr awhile ALL the food was gone BEFORE 7.
lolx...cam-whored wif cy camera..lolx..
aftr tt we dun feel like goin home so we went BOWLING!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
the first game i'm like the oni girl..but apparently they dun seem to tink of me as a girl...zZz..
surprisingly i was not the last!! weeeeeeeeeeee! lolx...
laughed like mad woman..hahaz!
shall not go into details..lolx..
then the second game was o...k...
hahaz..aft tt went back to jz house to take bags and stuff..
jz mum keep askin us to brin food home...and i bought back a pack of marshmallows..
lolx..was realli runnin late and me cy kenneth and noddy decided to cab back to my home...
saw ms kum with her family when we chased a cab across the road..lolx..
kenneth keep sayin "ms kum...teach me bio!" and "i'll do ur hw! "
lolx!
mum called me in the taxi...
mum:where are u?
me:er..i in the bus reachin home soon!
mum:at where lahz.
me:er..tampines library!
mum:ok...then u alight there...we come fetch u...
me:er...cannot lehz!
mum:why?
me:cuz i in taxi... heehee...
lolx...oppx!lolx...din get into trouble..thank god..
hahaz...
laaaaaaaaaaaa...it's a long post..and i'm oni posting in general...
zZz...too lazy and can't be bothered..shall upload the pic when i hav it.. ((:
bye!
and my sister is gettin bitchier and bitchier day by day...
fuck you.

12:00 AM

Everlife - Go Figure

Whoa, whoa

Just when you learned the game of life
All the rules change overnight
Whoa, whoa go figure

It seems so wrong to even try
But taking a chance never felt so right
Whoa, whoa go figure

You have a dream
You wanna be
The center of the story
Just when you think it's gone
You find a way to keep it going on

Sometimes you fall before you fly
Sometimes you laugh when you should cry
Go figure
When things got messed up
You wanted to give up
Nothing seemed right but turned out fine
Go figure, go figure
Whoa, whoa

It's so dangerous to play it safe
You get what you want by giving it away
Whoa, whoa go figure
Go figure

Your trying so hard to be someone else
When all you needed to be was yourself
Whoa, whoa go figure
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Not everything is what it seems
There's never just one meaning
When life starts making sense
The world is upside down again

Sometimes you fall before you fly
Sometimes you laugh when you should cry
Go figure, go figure
When things got messed up
You wanted to give up
Nothing seemed right but turned out fine
Go figure, go figure

Whoa, whoa, go figure
Whoa, whoa

Did you really think your destiny was a one way street
You gotta be ready for anything
Just set your whole life free, yeah

Sometimes you fall before you fly
Sometimes you laugh when you should cry
Go figure, go figure
When things got messed up
You wanted to give up
Nothing seemed right but turned out fine
Go figure, go figure

Sometimes you fall before you fly
Sometimes you laugh when you should cry
Go figure
When things got messed up
You wanted to give up
Nothing seemed right but turned out fine yeah, yeah
Go figure, go figure

Whoa, whoa go figure
Whoa, whoa go figure

10:34 PM

okie! i'm back..aftr shuttin out frm the world for a couple of days...
sorry if i made anybody worried or sumthin.. (sorry youming!)
i juz needed sum days to clear my thoughts and feel the peace and serenity of shuttin out frm te world..
and yea...this couple of days helped me alot..i'm feeling much better and more refreshed...
and while i was shuttin out frm the world..i realised lots of thins and think thru lots of thins too..
i had pretty much forotten lots of things tt bothered me...seriously..
and i realise tt i realli miss my friends!
and it's heartwarming to noe tt there are actually people hu care...
thx so much and so sorry tt i made u guys worry...if u even got worried..
these couple of days..i spent my time wif my family...
and i'm startin to love them alot more...erm..ok..mayb except my sis...
other than tt..i feel tt i have bonded wif them more than i did in the whole of this yr...
things b/w my sis is still the same..
she givin me slent treatment and me givin her silent treatment back..
got used to it..
hu cares?
i can still live happily without her..
and i've thought things thru and felt alot better..
i'm not goin to let her get into me... ((:
these two days i hav nv chatted or tok to anyone...
and i have to admit..i miss you guys...
but sometimes u juz have to step back frm the world and juz shut urself out frm it...
it will do u a little good..
seriously..
but don't shut urself too long..
u'll go crazy and think too much...((:

anw...i bought my holy shirt alr!!!!
weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
<----------------see my profile!!! heehee...and soon..i'm gonna strike out one more!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! thx to syafiq..lolx... oh..in case u dunno wad is holy shirt.. it's a liverpool jersey.. which means I BOUGHT MY LIVERPOOL JERSEY ALR!!!! ((: sorry guys..i noe i said i wan to buy it wif u guys..but i can't wait any longer and my mum brought me to peninsula to buy it...hahaz...
surprisingly..i dun feel sad partin wif my money...
and i was so happy for the rest of the day aft buyin the shirt..hahaz..
i was smiling and laughin and goin crazy..
heehee...
laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..
ok..shall not blog too much..
but all i'll sae is i feel refreshed and happy and contended...
and most of all..i looked at the world in a different and good way...
and OMG! Gerrard is gettin married nxt week...
ouch! =(
man...heartbreak...nvm...i'll still love him.. ((:
well...till the nxt post ppl...bye!
love you! <3
nice to noe u guys miss me...not.

8:31 PM

blegh...
things are kinda sucky nowadays..
can't realli explain it and can't realli tok bout it here...
so i'll juz forget bout it and i shall not let it bother me...
aftr all...i have YOUMING!! ((:
let's do the LOVE DANCE babeh!! ((:
sweeT! <3
go fuck off sis...

1:12 AM

I HEREBY OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCE 3 THINGS!

1: I'M OFFICIALLY 15!! thank you thank you! i'm old i noe..((:

2: for the first time in my 15 yrs alive (excludin those yrs where i still can't speak) i din wish my sister "happy birthday" durin her b'dae..

3: for the first time in my 15 yrs alive my sister din wish me "happy birthday"..

how cool huh?
ouh well...
it's my b'dae yest...
an hour before...
was pretty borin...hahaz..
nv expect much durin my b'dae..my ideal birthday day is to spent it wif my frenz..
can u believe tt in my 15 yrs alive i hav nv spent it wif my frenz before?
pathetic right? i noe..
wad to do?? i'm guai.. ((:
and i wan to thank every SINGLE one of u tt wish me happy birthday..hahaz..
esp ELAINE cuz she hav a hard tym stayin up till 12 to send me a msg..hahaz... love you lots!*muackz!! <3
and to wanting wanyi elaine and anton :
thx soooooo much for ur cookies!!
it's filled wif love inside..hahaz...and i love it!! THX ALOT GUYS!!
I LOVE YOU GUYS LOTS!! =D!
*muackz!!
and syafiq!:
although i still haven get tt thang but i still wanna thank you alot and alot for fulfilling my wish!
thx alot!! and i love you lots too!! ((:
thx so much man!!
and maylyn!!:
hahaz...thx for the first to wish me sooooo early!! hahaz.. ((:
and chuiying!:
hahaz...thx for sendin me a msg at 12 too..lolx..the msg is sooo sweet!! hahaz... love you!! <3
and so many many others!! thx so much!!
although my birthday tis yr is kinda borin..but u guys' messages mean alot to me and realli made my day! love you guys!! ((:
*muackz!!
now...i'm gonna wait till 3 to watch my sexy hot gorgeous husband kick soccer against cute and sexy kaka..lolx... (ahem elaine!) ((:
bye SEXYS!! <3
with love.

12:17 AM