i'm so freakin pissed...
i juz dun understand y they hav to do a different jersey...
i mean...it's all the same...juz the fuckin colour for goodness sake..
and it's supposed to be a CLASS jersey for goodness sake..
and c'mon man! it's juz a fuckin number..do u nid to be so assholic?!
stupid bitch...
and you get the number in first come first serve basis...
if u dun get it...too bad..tt's ur prob..
u can either
1. shut up and choose another number
2. negotiate with the person hu hav the number...if the person still wan it then read 1.
3. hav the same number as the person
4. go to hell...
if u can't do any four of the above..then fuck off and dun buy the class jersey...
i'm super bu shuang lahz...there's no such fuckin thin called players piority lorhz...
tt's oni in ur fuckin selfish god damn bitchy world...
juz becuz u can't hav wad u wan then u juz go do another one...
wad fuck...
stupid sore losers
how i wish tt someday u will NOT get wad u wan...
and when tt day comes...rmb the feelin of it...
and tink bac how fuckin selfish u were...
and u will noe wad it feels lyk..stupid fuckin self centered bitch!
and tt day WILL come around...
becuz wad goes arnd will comes around..
juz u wait u bitches...

todae was quite ok...
the relief teacher for emaths was assholic..
aft sch went to mac to do bio project..
end up doin maths and went home..
so here i am...bloggin and readin my sexy love blog..
he's juz damn sweeeeeeeeeeet lahz...
haiz...tis kind of guy is one of a kind...
where in the world can u find another super hot sexy guy with a heart of gold?!
haiz...
i noe tt it's a fantasy..but sumtyms it's funny how a little fantasy can cheer u up and make u smile for the whole day...
i noe tt * is impossible...
but hey...a gal can fantasize rite?
hahaz...
gonna chiong hw liaoz...sian...

i'm tired of the tantrums u throw..
and i found out tt the best way to deal with ur mood swings is juz ignore it...
i don't get wad u tink anymore...
the bond we had doesn't seem to be there anymore...
i'm surprised how sensitive a person can be...
it realli shocked me tt u can get super sensitive and pissed off for a small little thin..
ok...so mayb it's big to u..but to me..i tink it's juz a tiny little thin..
i just don't get it...
mayb one day u can enlighten me and tell me wad izzit tt irritates u tt much...
hopefully i have the courage to tell u in person...
but till then...i juz hav tis to tell u wad i feel...
hopefully everythin will b beta...
i dun wan it to hurt our frenship..
but hopefully tis can change thins for the beta...
it would hurt to end a frenship juz like tt...

wuzun is love...

5:24 PM

hahaz...i finally blogged...tis blog is kinda dead...
no thanks to blogger...hu dun let users wif a hyfen in front of their url..zzz
my getwild!! nvm...enigmaticallyinlove is not bad rite??
hahaz...if u dunno wad it means..well...tt's ur prob..((:
and thx laogong!!! heehee... thx sooooo much for hackin ur beautiful brain to help me tink of an add..
i love you! <333

things haven realli been in a fantastic shape these days...
but i'm sure everything will be beta over a period of time... =)
to everyone out there...juz let ur hair down and go crazy while u can!!
c'mon man...dun cry or b emo...
u're wasting ur precious time!!
so GETWILD!! ((:

anw...it's gettin more and more stressful these days..
but i wun let it spoil my mood!
i will mug!!mug!! MUG!!
heehee...

wanyi maylyn anton and me made a bet wif mr loi...
hahaz...if he score two or more goals against our class...
we hav to pay attention when he's teachin..
hahaz..if he din...he owe us chocolates and sweets!! weeeeeeeee
guess wad?!
we won!!!
hahaz..but dun worry..i'll still TRY to pay attention in class..
cuz i dun wan to fail my maths!!!!
hahaz..so dun worry!! ((:

anw...i'll blog till here..too lazy alr.. bye sexy people! ((:
wuzun is love!

10:49 PM

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! crap blogger!!!
xin xin ku ku upload the photos then publish fail...
fjguiaehgohaoghapjfp!!!!
nvm..will upload again...and it's the last tym i upload..if still fail i not goin upload anymore..zZz..
here are the photos!!!!!



POPEYE'S!!! yummy!

Reflection.

wanting alwaes looks damn blur in picures tt hav 3 or more ppl

me and wanting!! =D!

10:42 PM

shit...i'm seriously pmsing now....
tt's bad...very bad...
crap...
i'm gettin pissed super easy now...
argh!!
man..and tt bloody person seriously pisses me more...
dumb ass..
i'm gonna slap * man!
damn shit..

haiz...i miss my sexy love...
during the holi i felt so out of touch to the world even though i've been goin out lyk everyday...
haiz...tt empty feeling...tt super crap shit feeling...
i wan to see him....i realli realli miss him...
seems lyk pictures can't realli satisfy the need of seein him in real life.. =(

haiz...and i'm not goin to argue wif my erjie anymore..
cuz i noe tt wadeva i sae u will alwaes find an excuse to believe wad u tink...
i'm so sick of arguing wif u...cuz wadeva i sae is useless...
so all i will do is juz shut up and listen to wadeva u sae...
and if u juz happen to come to my blog..
wad i wan to tell u all tis while is...
it's not tt i dun wan to do ur work..
but i also hav to see whether i hav the fuckin tym to do it...
and u alwaes give me so many questions...
and when i tell u i can't finish it...
u will sae tt it's for my own good blah blah blah....
then u will sae if i dun hav tym to do hw then y do i hav the tym to go online...
yea sure..lots of ppl will tink tt...
but i've been bac frm a freakin school which is filled wif crappy teachers and loads of homework...
can't i juz use the comp to relax??
damnit...
argh!!!

and now i feel the pressure again...
the one i felt when i'm in primary6...
when i break down in tears when everybody's sleepin
when i almost thot i will lose it wif all the tuitions and activities i had...
when i almost couldn't get through psle...
i feel it creepin bac towards me....
i felt lyk i'm goin crazy wif all the homework i hav...
i'm so sick and tired of everythin...
i juz wan to hide in one corner and alienate awae frm everybody..
i wan to juz stare into space and juz tink of wadeva i wan...
i'm losing it...
and it feels lyk no one's there to catch me as i'm fallin down...

everythin seems so complicated now...
it feels so different now...
i wan to go bac to primary school...
where everythin is so innocent..
when the most terrible thin to them is when their fren dun fren them...
and everybody goes i dun friend u le..
i wan to b in a world tt is juz so simple...
no school...no competitions...no nothing..

anw.... HAPPY 15 BIRTHDAY TO JINGZHI AND QIANHUI!! <3
hahaz..u guys are old!!! i'm not!! at least i wun b till a few months later...
but wadeva...happy birthday!! =D!
may all ur wish come true!! =)
be as lame as ever...
and live life to the fullest!!
and i love u guys!! <333
*muackz!!
er...it shld be belated birthday alr..but wadeva...weeeeeeeeeee!!
and jingzhi...NO pink water bottle pls??
hahaz

anw..went to do project wif wanting wanyi and elaine at popeye's!! weeeeeeeee
hahaz...blah....
lazy to giv the details...
thot of uploadin the photos todae...
but i'm too tired alr...
so..mayb nxt tym..bye!! (=

ok..mayb one will do...
one down lots more to go...bye!!!

i love my sexy love forever...<3

12:37 AM

went to study with wanting wanyi and elaine todae!!
hahaz...stupid..go meet at 9 in the MORNING...
stupid crap..make me so tired...
study for awhile..did some maths....
we kinda tok more than we do hw..
but we still managed to finish a little stuff...
at 12 wanting go sch...so me wanyi and elaine went to tampines library to continue our hw...
managed to do finish amaths cuz we can't realli tok in the library...
aft tt went bac to sch to wait for wanting...and to escort wanyi to sch for choir...
aft tt went to whitesands and roam arnd..looking for jingzhi's pressie...
lolx...we were kinda half dead..cuz of sumone's idea to meet at 9 in the morning...zZz
bought sushi and went home...
reached home and watch some tv...
cannot tahan alr so i went to slp..
hav to wake up cuz hav to eat dinner...
and all my mood was spoiled when i went back...
thx to someone called michelle...
nvm...
at least there's somthing for me to feel happy bout...
i found tt my relationship wif my family has been beta...
mayb wad bel sae realli is true...
well..i will try to keep it tis way and make our relationship much more better..((:
i wanna sae thx to those who were there when i vent my stupid anger...
anyway...there's pictures!! but i'm too lazy to post it so..mayb other tym when i feel hardworking..
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! ok..bye! ((:

wuzun is love...<3

10:31 PM

have i gone overboard?
my mum talked to me and she said some stuff which make me feel damn guilty towards how i treat my cousin...
i guess i really have gone overboard...
but i know that whenever i want to change...
he/she will have the power to change how i feel...
and i will start hating that person again...
crap...i know...
haiz....nvm..
i will try to treat him better...
maybe i wun feel so much anger anymore..
and i can be that happy little girl with no troubles again!
ok...i will change for the better...
and i'm sorry for how i treat you...
if u ever see this post...
i'm pmsing now so yea..forgive me..
but you also must do somthing with your attitude too...
or i will start hating you all over again...

and the date of the FOUR muskeeteers(?) is on again!!
yay!!!!! i love them man!!
*muackz!!!!
they are the sexiest people ever lived!!
whohoo!! ((:
love you guys!!
i will be there when you guys need a crying shoulder...
i will slap all those biatches who bully you...
i will make you guys go high you beg me to stop being high...
i will make all of you forget bout your troubles and be a happy girl like me!
cheers!! ((:

10:55 PM

haiz...i'm freaking depressed now...
i know it's not u guys fault...
but somehow i just can't stop feeling sad...
i'm realli realli looking forward to wednesday lorhz...
it's lyk the only pathetic fucking thing tt can cheer me up and make me tolerate my fucking cousin...
and now..it's fucking cancelled...
and i'm fucking sure it's because of the stupid school founder's day thingy..
arsehole...
ARGH!!!!!!!!
i wan to fucking go out on wednesday with them!!!!!!
GET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING SHITHOLE!
argh!!!!!!!!!

8:15 PM

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
stupid bastard!! ARGH!
so wad if u're a fuckin guest?
that does not mean i hav to give in to u u son of a biatch!
and u bloody hypocrite!
u fuckin act so innocent and guai in front of them then u guai lan me..
u tink i very nice to guai lan izzit?
stupid fucker...
asshole...
tis is not ur fuckin house ok?!
juz becuz both my sisters got ur back then u can give me the fucking attitude...
stupid shit..
u at our house also nv do anithin...
then u juz hog the bloody comp..
asshole..u wan to use comp u can go bac to ur house to use wad...
cum our house for wad?! stupid shit
juz becuz u and ur father quarrel doesn't mean tt u are welcomed here to stay as long as u wish ok?
stupid shit...juz go bac to wherever u came lahz...
stop interuptin my life...
my life will be much more beta if u are out of it..
and my relationship wif my sisters will be much much much beta without u...
you are part of the reason why me and my sis quarrel...
and u still have the cheek to act oh-so-innocent...
STUPID FUCK!!!
argh! and i hav to tolerate u for one whole fuckin week...
holidays suck totally...
i would rather go to sch and face the stupid attitude the teacher give than stay in tis shithole..
i can't wait till wednesday...
i can't wait till school reopens....
i can't wait till that shitface go home....

6:09 PM

disclaimer: there will be lots of vulgarities...so read at ur own risk...

i'm feeling lyk i'm not wif them anymore...
it's not the fact that they hav boyfrenz and i dun...
it's juz that wad we're thinking is not the same anymore...
in the past...when i'm tired or sad..
they can easily tell...but now..when i'm feeling down and low..
all u did was juz ask y my face is so black..
and all i could do was juz reply nothing and put on my happy and hyper face back..
i realli feel very tired...mentally and physically...
all those emotions is causing me to go crazy...
i don't know how long i can take it anymore..
and now...when * is quarelling with me...you juz take his side...
you din even noe wad happen...he is a fuckin outsider damnit..
and tis is my fuckin home...y can't i use the comp...
and i dun tink i nid to tell you the fuckin reason when i wan to use comp rite?!
FINE...if u wan to use..i'll let u use it..
but all i ask for is juz to listen to my songs...
i understand that different ppl hav different taste in songs..
but u can at least juz shut the fuck up and juz listen to the song rite?!
nobody fuckingly asked for ur stupid fuckin opinion...
arsehole!
and u bloody changed the song when i'm listening....
and u fuckingly said that you dun fuckin noe...
MY ARSE!
u dunno...then wad?!
the fuckin comp juz change by it's fuckin self?!
i dun bloody fuckin care whether u see tis post...
it's best that u see it...
sure...u can be fun sumtyms..but only when u felt lyk it...
it's so fuckin unfair...

and to everybody... dun give other ppl the fuckin attitude juz becuz u are feeling pissed or irritated...
we are NOT the fuckin ones tt pissed u off..and you dun hav the fuckin right to give us an attitude...
if u wan...giv ur stupid attitude to those hu are responsible for pissin u off...
stupid shit...and that bloody includes u, JANE!
and if u feel guilty when readin this..then u shld noe tt it means u...
if u dun feel anithin...either u are juz too thick-headed to understand or u are realli not one of them...

and i seriously think tt they dun give a fuckin damn bout me...
if they thot of me...they wouldn't buy another memory card for dajie when me and erjie juz bought her one...
they knew that i longed for a new handphone...they knew it all along...
but they juz ignored me and used that money and buy sum other stuff...
call that jealous or wadeva..i couldn't care less...
but it realli hurts...
and i'm too tired to look frm another perspective...
i'm juz so sick of everythin...

and to #...wad goes around WILL comes around...
u juz watch it... one day when u nid help and ppl juz start ignorin you..you will noe wad's the fuckin feeling like...
especially when u practiacally fuckin begged tt person and all he did was ignore u...
son-of-a-bitch! stupid bastard!

todae is juz sooo not my dae...
and i juz realized sumthin...
water is thicker than blood...

once again...my tears fell down my cheek
i tried to control my emotions
but those emotions are just too much to handle...
here i am..back to square one...
cryin in the dark night when no one sees...
i tried everything to put that happy person i once was bac..
but it's much more harder than i thot it was...

12:45 AM

bel said sum stuff todae tt made me think...
she said mayb if i changed my perspective mayb i will see a different side..
i tried to but i can't seem to look frm another perspective...
mayb i'm juz too much of an arsehole to think of wad other ppl think
or mayb wad i think was actually right...
juz when i was about to feel damn evil wif how i treated her...
she changed how i felt juz lyk tt *snap!
and now...here i am..bac to square one...hating her...
wadeva...mayb i'm seriously AM an arsehole in their eyes...
now..even my sis give me attitude juz becuz i did not see a bloody note which i dun even noe exists...
sucker!
and i feel lyk my posts is contradicting one another...
it's lyk in one post i said i will b happy and the other i juz go all sad.. wth?
it's not tt i'm sad all the tym..i oni feel sad when i'm home...or a place i once called home...
i'm realli glad and veri happy to noe the frenz i made now...
i hav three realli great and trustworthy fren...
without them i realli feel lyk all is lost..
i dun wan to walk the path my second sis had walked before
i wanted to make them feel proud bout me...
but sometyms they juz so coincidentally came at the wrong tym and caught me doin some other stuff...
and they will think tt i've been doin tt thing all dae...
i'm so sick of all tis..
i wann break free frm everythin...but now i feel lyk a helpless bird trapped inside a stupid god damn cage..
i'm so sick of everythin..
i realli wish tt one day..when i wake up..everythin will juz disappear and i will b truly happy..
and not half half..
it's not tt i dun wan to b happy..i tried everythin to b happy..but sumhow..the sadness inside me juz hav the power to overtake my emotions...

i don't want to speak these words...
cause i don't want to make things any worse...

10:58 PM

wow....my mother is freakin pro...
juz a few minutes after chinese new year and she already started scolding me..
how nice...biatch
nvm...i'll still stay happy..
i will not let this kind of stupid stuff to spoil my mood!
now i'm not gonna let all the unhappy stuff affect me...
i WILL and MUST be happy...
since she dun giv a damn bout me then i will not give a damn bout her..
she can nag all she wan and i will just play deaf..
i will not give her attitude...
ok..mayb ignorin her is giving attitude...but wadeva..
i will be happy!!!

i'm not going to shed all those tears again...
i realise that cryin doesn't help
and being happy can solve all the problems
the smile on my face doesn't feel fake anymore
and i've been smiling more naturally now..
mayb looking at things the simpler way is much more easier...
why go screw ur life when u can live it happily?
smile more and things will go your way...((:

12:26 AM

zZzz...i'm feelin damn pig nowadays...
but not realli as i've been skippin meals these few days...
haiz...i'm so lazy to blog...but i feel lyk i shld blog...
dun ask me why..i juz sumhow feel tis way..
haiz...and i'm gonna die durin geog test and amaths retest tmr...
lalalalalalalalalalalalala....


late at night...
when no one knows..
my tears silently roll down my cheek..
my heart aching with every tear i shed..
morning came and everythin was bac to normal...
tt smile was plastered bac on my face..
while my heart keep on aching with every laughter i made...
soon it was night again...
the tym where my tears roll down my cheeks without anyone knowin...

6:51 PM